I’m the Girl

Georgia has always known she was meant to be an Aspera Girl, a select group of women with unnatural beauty who work at the high-end Aspera retreat. When Georgia ran away from home years ago, Aspera’s owner, Matthew, picked her up and told her to find him when she was old enough to work at the retreat. Georgia’s mother, who worked as a cleaner at the resort and left with a tarnished reputation, thought differently, and she did everything she could to make Georgia understand she didn’t belong there, filled with conceit and lacking the beauty needed to be an Aspera girl. Georgia resents her mother for trying to crush her dream of being an Aspera Girl, unwilling to forgive her even in death. She’s determined to prove her mother wrong and sees her opportunity when she’s approached by a photographer at the mall.

Georgia is so excited about getting ‘professional modelling photos’ that she doesn’t hesitate to steal $4000 from her brother to pay for them. She instantly obsessed with the glossy nudes; they confirm she’s meant to be an Aspera Girl. Seeing how in love Georgia is with her photographs, the photographer refuses to let her have them unless she performs a sex act. Scared by the photographer’s new requirement, Georgia bikes away as quickly as she can, worrying about how she’ll explain what happened to her brother, the only family she has left.

As Georgia bikes along the deserted road, she’s hit by a car. When she regains consciousness, her bike is gone. Injured and in need of help, Georgia begins walking and notices something pink off the side of the road. When she gets closer, she finds the local sheriff’s 12-year-old daughter, Ashley, raped and dead. A car comes along, and when Georgia sees the passengers, she can’t believe she’s going to be rescued by the owners of Aspera. Despite the trauma she’s just been through, Georgia only sees one thing – her opportunity to achieve her dream of being an Aspera Girl.

Aspera’s owners, Matthew and Cleo Hayes, are everything Georgia dreamed they would be: nurturing, reassuring, and willing to give her an entry-level job at Aspera despite her mother’s having created a difficult situation before she was fired. As Georgia learns more about Aspera and how important the escape from the real world is for its guests, she also learns what behaviour staff are expected to tolerate. When a guest asks her to have a drink with him, she agrees. When he gets her drunk during work hours and sexually assaults her, he’s escorted off the premises, an action that makes Georgia believe staff are protected. However, she soon learns what her mother was trying to protect her from: that safety does not extend to the executive floor or to the Aspera Girls.

When a drugged and bruised Aspera girl, who Georgia thinks is below the age of consent, comes out of the elevator just to be dragged back in by another staff member, Georgia asks if the girl is ok. The girl is unresponsive, but the staff member assures Georgia it’s just part of being an Aspera Girl and that she must return to the party regardless of her state. Calling the police won’t help because they already know what happens at, and are, themselves, clients of, Aspera.

As Aspera’s utopian façade begins to crack, links between the raped and dead 12-year-old Ashley and the resort begin to surface. Encouraged by Ashley’s sister Nora, Georgia does her best to find out if the girls’ father, the sheriff, is responsible for Ashley’s sexual assault and death. As Georgia tries to discretely investigate, she quickly learns how damaging assumptions can be and how well-hidden the truth often is. While Georgia’s dreams crumble around her, she discovers one thing: Nora, the sheriff’s other daughter, isn’t the snob Georgia thought. Based on the fact that Nora’s father, the corrupt sheriff, was a Aspera member and a sexual predator Georgia’s mother had forbidden her to hang out with Nora. Once Georgia and Nora, removed from the judgement based on their parents’ assumptions, spend time together, they become each other’s most reliable support and first loves.

Reading like a modern V. C. Andrews, I’m the Girl is full of twists and suspense and covers several aspects of violence against women and girls, important social issues that are often ignored. Unfortunately, I’m the Girl is victim-blaming from the pre-teen ‘wild child’ found raped and dead on the side of the road to the excuses Georgia makes for her rapist: she was ‘too seductive’ and told him that ‘because she likes girls, it’s as if it never happened’, and so she must have wanted it to happen. Although her brother and girlfriend Nora encourage Geogia to report the assaults she experienced and witnessed, Georgia, like many survivors of sexual violence, decides to ‘just get on with her life’. As clients, the police know exactly what’s taking place at Aspera, and so Georgia doesn’t see a point in reporting. When she’s encouraged to break her confidentiality agreement and speak up about what happens at Aspera, she repeats what Matthew and Cleo told her: Aspera’s untouchable.

Although I’m the Girl is a gripping, fast-paced read, readers need to be aware that it contains potentially triggering materials on just about every page. The book would benefit from some end-of-text questions prompting readers to think critically about the red flags that Georgia ignores, or is blind to, while she focuses on the glamourous image of Aspera Girls Aspera has carefully crafted for the public. Just as media rushes to protect the rich and famous who face allegations of sexual assault and violence against women, Georgia is aware of how quickly the police, especially the sheriff, will move to discredit her if she comes forward.

While the romantic relationship between Nora and Georgia provides some relief from the exploitation, grooming and manipulation of Georgia by adults who tell her they have her best interests at heart, the ending is a disappointment, sending the message that individuals can’t make a difference and that justice is unattainable. The ending may reflect reality, but it sends an unhealthy message to readers, telling them the least painful path is to ‘just forget about it', and try to forget that predators continue to take advantage of other. While I’m the Girl a great read, readers need to pay attention to their response to the material and know when to take a break or when to put the book down if the material is too overwhelming.