A Year Without Mom

It’s the early 1990’s in the Soviet Union. Mikhail Gorbachev’s policies of “glasnost” and “perestroika” are leading to a spirit of reform and openness for Russia’s citizens. When offered an opportunity to pursue graduate studies in advertising at an American university, Dasha’s mom takes it. Following her mom’s departure, each chapter of A Year without Mom presents a snapshot of 12-year-old Dasha’s life during each month of that year. After her mom’s departure for Urbana, Illinois, the rest of Dasha’s August is spent at a writers’ retreat 90 km outside of Moscow. Dasha loves to draw and soon is making posters for a play that the kids will be presenting. But, back in Moscow, there’s a real drama happening: a coup d’etat has been launched against Gorbachev. Things seem tense, and, at the writers’ retreat, the adults worry (pacing and smoking incessantly), and the kids put their play on hold. Then, Boris Yeltsin comes to power, the Soviet Union breaks up into its various constituent republics, and life – and the play –goes on.

After summer is over, Dasha settles into her mother’s old room, and then it’s back to school and spending time with best friends, Masha and Natasha. The girls catch up, gossiping about the others at the retreat, and there’s predictable tween-girl eye-rolling at the mention of Petya, a 15-year-old who is Dasha’s current crush. Although life in the former Soviet Union has its privations, Dasha lives comfortably. Four times a week, school is followed by art classes with her cousin Varya, and there’s never a shortage of food at her aunt’s, although their apartment is smaller.

Dasha misses her mom. In the chapter titled “October”, every night before falling asleep, Dasha listens to an audio tape her mom recorded before leaving. Dasha decides “to learn more about America so [she] can better imagine where [her] mom is.” (p. 58) Gone with the Wind becomes her favourite book, and the three school friends play at being Southern belles, writing letters with nib pens, sealing them with wax and choosing aristocratic names, Louisa being Masha and Dasha’s choice. “November” relates two classic junior high experiences: (a) peer pressure and (b) profound embarrassment at talking to your crush. First, Natasha and Masha decide to skip history class because “it’s stupid”. Although torn by their decision, Dasha goes to class anyway and writes her history quiz. Later, she calls up Petya, and, not knowing what to say, just listens to him say “hello” until her grandfather yells at her to get off the line. Her red-cheeked response: “I could just die.” (p. 64)

Daylight winter hours are short in Moscow, and, at the beginning of “December”, Dasha remarks that “it’s completely dark now in the morning, and it’s hard to get up for school.” (p. 65) Her two best friends don’t always show up for first period of the day, and it’s lonely. But, it’s not so lonely at art school – there’s a talented guy named Maxim who is always sitting close to her, and, although she tries to get away from him, he’s always back beside her. He’s a really good artist, and she hates him. Besides, her heart belongs to Petya, and one day, while waiting at the bus stop with her cousin, she confesses her love for him to Varya. Varya is “very loyal, and she knows to ask the important questions: ‘What colour are his eyes? Does he like the Beatles?’” (p. 72) Dasha’s grandmother plans for the school Winter Break to be spent with her journalist friends, Vadim and Anita, who live and work in Munich. The city is festive with Christmas decorations, the conversation is non-stop politics, and it’s all wonderful until Dasha’s allergic reaction to her hosts’ cat prompts a trip to a hospital emergency room. A “young, sleepy doctor” who is “kind of cute” (p. 81) gives her a shot, Dasha can breathe again, and the family heads for a hotel where she celebrates a Western Christmas. (Even during the Soviet era, Christmas was celebrated on January 7)

If Dasha thought that December was a dark month, the really dark days happen in “January”. Dasha is transferred to an advanced math class while her friends stay in the regular class. It’s “mean girls”, Moscow style, and they shun Dasha. Then, two days later, they are waiting at the school’s front gate and greet her. “We never talk about what happened.” (p. 90) In “February”, Dasha finds out that Petya has invited the girls to watch absurdist poets play at his school, School 67. As it’s Valentine’s Day, Dasha is certain that this is a good omen, and so she dresses up in her favourite outfit, worrying about the “really hideous leggings” she has to wear because it’s so cold outside. School 67 is a very impressive place and when they meet up, Petya gives Dasha a big hug, and then - big shock! - introduces her to Katya, his ultra-cool girlfriend.

Disappointment continues through March: “I don’t care about anything anymore. It’s cold and dark out. I am not cool. Petya will never like me. School is boring. Everything sucks.” (Pp. 100-101) Dasha’s dad arrives for a visit, bringing her a fashionable jean jacket, and, although he is cool and takes her out for dinner, conversation is strained, her every response to his questions being “I don’t know.” She doesn’t feel quite right about the situation with Masha and Natasha, as she rarely sees them in class. But, when they get together for a heart-to-heart talk, she learns the reason: her friends are planning to seek admission to other schools, one of which is Petya’s. Dasha considers applying to School 67 and skips classes, planning to study on her own and focus on getting a really good recommendation from her art school. But, after her grandfather reams her out for skipping, Dasha runs off to her aunt’s place.

Easter arrives early that year. In “April”, Dasha reveals that it’s the one time of year that she attends church and that she loves the season. After the final, 12-hour Lenten fast on Holy Saturday, she says that “Varya and I are a bit woozy from hunger and everything is super funny. As soon as we can, we run outside and stuff our faces with Cadbury eggs that my mom has sent.” (p. 121) A charming illustration depicts Dasha catching snowflakes on her tongue – it’s still cold, but she feels hopeful in a way that she hasn’t for some time. Super confident that she’ll ace her entrance exam, she runs to Petya’s school to tell him that she loves him. But, she sees him with Katya exchanging a kiss, and, at the essay portion of the exam, her mind is a blank. In “May”, spring finally arrives and, with it, a sense that things are changing; both of her friends seem destined for the schools of their dreams, and, although she wants the best for her friends, Dasha doesn’t want them to go.

One thing has changed: Dasha now thinks that she likes Maxim. “June” tells the story of her mom’s return and a reassurance that mom hasn’t changed. “Seeing her is like finally taking a breath after holding it in for a year.” (p. 148) But, there’s more change coming: Dasha’s mom wants her to move to America to live with her in Urbana for a year while she finishes her studies. Although Dasha is dead set against the idea, the plan comes together very quickly. When they arrive in Urbana, Dasha is very glad that she has the ultra-cool jean jacket that her dad bought, and she quickly learns to like burgers from Dairy Queen. Her mother signs her up for middle school, and, when she goes into the principal’s office to talk privately, Dasha waits in the hallway. A little blonde girl sits down next to her, and introduces herself. Her name is “Louisa”, and Dasha knows that she has found a new friend.

Reading A Year Without Mom took me back to that time in your life when friendships and loyalties expand and contract with lightning speed, when you are crazy mad about some guy who doesn’t acknowledge your existence (and there’s some guy that you hate who is crazy about you), and being a “brain” at school can lead to isolation from your friends. The book also offers an interesting window on life at the time of the break-up of the Soviet Union. Dasha’s grandmother is a writer and has friends who are journalists, so politics is an ongoing concern for them. For Dasha and friends, not so much. Tolstikova has real insight into the minds of tweens, a keen ear for the nuances of tween conversation, and the pull quotes throughout this review resonate with authenticity. The book is illustrated with simple line drawings, mostly in shades of grey, enlivened with pops of colour, and that simplicity is really quite effective. The writer vividly remembers life in a junior high classroom: desks are decorated with typical graffiti, note passing is a commonplace, and daydreams are dedicated to one’s latest sweetheart. A Year Without Mom is definitely a book aimed at a female readership, perfect for middle school/junior high readers. Junior high is long behind me, but I really liked the book, too.