When You’re With Me, I’m Smiling

Annie is a grade 11 student with excellent marks and a bright future. If she is awarded a scholarship, she hopes to enrol in a culinary program since her all-time favourite pastime is baking. She has an Instagram account and many fans which prove to her that working with food is definitely in her future.

But at the moment, life isn’t exactly on track. Annie lives with her Gran, the only parent she’s really ever known, and Gran is showing signs of forgetfulness that is happening more frequently and becoming more frightening. On top of that, Annie’s best friend Jess is in the oncology ward fighting for his life. When Annie meets Miles, the other patient in the hospital room, she realizes how much they have in common, and romance is quickly in the air. Since Annie has been considering a break-up with her sports-obsessed boyfriend Craig, she decides to do just that in order to get to know Miles even better.

Throughout this young adult novel, Annie is a strong and likeable character who is doing her best to keep all of the strands of her life intact. She is generous and giving and determined to look after those she cares about. However, readers will see that she often seems overloaded, and the burden of feeling responsible for others may endanger her own mental health. As she grows and matures, Annie begins to understand that only by looking after herself can she have the strength and energy to share with others.

The secondary characters in the novel serve mostly to highlight Annie and her personality. Jess is a dramatic, over-the-top gay guy who, despite his major illness, manages to generally remain lively and optimistic thus often adding a humorous and lighter tone to what is a very difficult time in his life. Miles is also very ill but still is an excellent romantic interest in the book. He seems able to understand and empathize with Annie and see things on her terms. Gran is a wonderful portrait of a busy and active senior who continues to contribute to her community. Like Annie, readers are concerned for her and hopeful that she can find methods to manage what appears to be approaching dementia.

There are difficult themes approached in this short but powerful novel. Jess has been saving pain pills and asks Annie if she will help with his choice to die with dignity when the time comes. Readers will understand his arguments and yet will also sympathize with Annie when she takes the other side of the debate. Mental health is also highlighted, both with Gran’s memory struggles as well as Annie’s ongoing need to prioritize her own self-care if she is to be happy and successful.

Carlyle has packed a great deal into a fairly short novel, and there are certainly moments when the plot doesn’t seem very realistic with so many issues and emotions seemingly happening all at once. On the other hand, the book’s fast pace and never-ending action will appeal to many young adult readers. They will laugh in many places and perhaps cry in others as Annie and those around her learn, as the title implies, what is needed in life in order to keep smiling.