Real Talk About Sex & Consent: What Every Teen Needs to Know

Volume XXVII / Issue 11 - November 13 / 2020

Real Talk About Sex and Consent

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Author:

Cheryl M. Bradshaw

Series:

Instant Help Solutions

Oakland, CA: Instant Help Books (Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books), 2020

185 pp., trade pbk., $24.95

Grades:

Grades 7-12

Ages:

Ages 12-17

Review by:

Melissa Corrente

Excerpt:

Perhaps there are more nuances to consent than many of us have been taught: important things that can affect our ability to feel safe with each other and our ability to understand and say what we do or don’t want.

We’re taught certain rules of consent– like “no means no” (it does!)– but we don’t always understand on a deeper level what consent really looks like and sounds like. That can leave us with questions, and that uncertainty can lead to cutting corners. We may not understand what the harm is in a few drinks, or coming on a bit strong, or “just making a move.” And we may end up believing our ability to read body language is better than it really is– instead of actually asking a person for consent.

Real Talk About Sex & Consent: What Every Teen Needs to Know recognizes that information is power and that consent is more complicated than “just say no”. It covers a range of topics such as consent and the law, what consent looks like and sounds like, understanding boundaries, the importance of healthy relationships, recognizing assault and so much more.

The purpose of the book is to provide teens with everything they need to know in order to handle the complexity of sexual intimacy. It is a valuable resource for teens, parents, caregivers and educators. The language is inclusive, accessible, relevant and relatable to young people.

Cheryl Bradshaw is a registered psychotherapist, and her passion for empowering teens about consent is evident throughout the book. She organizes the content sequentially so readers start by looking inward at their own feelings and move towards understanding messaging from society and the media. There is also a section that addresses myths about consent to help readers separate fact from fiction.

Total consent is taught using the acronym HOT SPICE which stands for Honest, Ongoing, Talked-about, Specific, Present-moment, Informed, Changeable and Enthusiastic. Comprehensive lists of specific examples are given to help teens recognize different signs of verbal consent, nonverbal consent, verbal non-consent and nonverbal non-consent.

Small visuals are included to help readers decode human reactions and understand why we think and react differently. The scenarios in the book provide an opportunity for reflection and ask important questions about consent, safety and respect. Feeling in control of the who, what, when, where, why and how of someone’s choice to be sexually active or intimate is a message everyone needs to comprehend.

I highly recommend this book because it is comprehensive, current, engaging and the additional resources listed at the end are excellent.

Highly Recommended

Reviewer:

Dr. Melissa Corrente is the mother of two school-aged children, and she is a health and physical educator at Nipissing University in North Bay, Ontario.

Subject Headings:

Sexual consent-Juvenile literature

Sex instruction for teenagers