The Leading Edge of Now

Grace Cochran’s life has been totally upended in the last couple of years. Her father passed away, leaving Grace in the foster care system with two different families. Suddenly her only relative, her uncle Rusty, comes forward and offers to care for Grace despite the fact that he neither attended her dad’s funeral nor made any attempt to keep in touch with her afterwards. So 17-year-old Grace finds herself back in New Harbor living with her uncle and trying to somehow pick up the pieces of her life. But New Harbor holds very upsetting memories for Grace since it was in this town that she was sexually assaulted, and this event forever changed her relationship with her best friend Janna and Janna’s brother Owen, Grace’s boyfriend at the time. Everything and everyone around Grace bring back associations with the worst night of her life.

Marci Lyn Curtis provides readers with a memorable main character in this young adult novel. On one hand, Grace seems unsure of herself and unable to overcome the terrible events of her past. Conversely, she has moments of strength and determination often accompanied by a sarcastic and biting sense of humour. This is a coming-of-age novel in which Grace must learn to trust others and, most of all, to trust herself once again. Within the story, she tries various ways of coping with what happened, but it is only through trusting herself and forgiving herself that she finally is able to break loose from the overwhelming sadness and anger with which she has dealt for so long.

Curtis deftly handles the sexual assault which is the foundation for much of the plot. While she does not go into gory and explicit details, there is no doubt what happened to Grace. Much of the story revolves around Grace’s reaction to this life-altering experience. She has never reported what happened two years ago, and it is only with the support and urging of friends that she finally is able to go to the police. She deals with the victimization involved in what happened to her and has the feelings of guilt and shame that haunt survivors. At the end of the novel, there is an author’s note which outlines statistics regarding sexual assault and suggests resources for victims. While these are American, undoubtedly similar organizations exist in Canada, and this note provides a starting point to find national and/or local resources.

Other characters in the novel provide background and support for Grace as she finds her way out of the depression and anxiety which have overwhelmed her. She eventually regains her friendship with Janna and also with her old boyfriend, Owen. Uncle Rusty turns out to be stronger and more helpful than Grace expects. And there are other characters in the town and at school which help readers form mental images of the setting and of the people who provide an informal safety net for Grace.

Themes of the book also include atonement for past faults or misdeeds and the forgiveness which must accompany them, both forgiveness of oneself and of others. In theological terms, ‘grace’ is the favour bestowed by God on humans, given even when undeserved. In this sense, the protagonist is very aptly named. Rusty’s decision to care for Grace is perhaps his way of atoning for his disinterest after her father’s death. Grace slowly but surely recognizes the true character under his laid-back and haphazard demeanor.

There is a hint of mystery in the novel as well since, when the assault took place, Grace had taken the drug Ambien and, therefore, was not in control of herself or her surroundings. Was boyfriend Owen the one to take advantage? Was it one of the many men watching a game on TV at Rusty’s home that night? A friend mentions that he thought Grace was outside talking to someone. Did that someone follow her back to her bedroom? Finally Grace learns the truth of what happened and the perpetrator is brought to justice.

The Leading Edge of Now is not an easy novel to read, and, while it is informative about the subject of sexual assault and its effects on victims and those around them, it could be a difficult read for anyone who has been involved in such a nightmare. Curtis takes on the strong emotions and trauma of grief and loss and anger. While the writing is open and realistic, the author is also sensitive and shows both caring and understanding for her main character.

The title reminds readers that, in the final analysis, this is not a ‘doom and gloom’ book, and Grace is ultimately a survivor who learns to cope with the terrible things which have happened to her. She realizes she cannot change the past nor can she predict or plan the future. At the end of the novel, Grace says, “The only guarantee is that there is no guarantee – just the now, and whatever truth or tragedy it holds. Just the perfectly imperfect moment, the next thirty seconds or whatever second I’m paying attention to. The little gasp of story I’m living, right here, right on the verge of everything, right on the leading edge of now.” (P. 326)