The New Football Coach

Most people have heard of the sympathetic bond that exists between twins, especially identical twins. However, Paulette and Yvette Pesky are the exception. They had been arch rivals from the moment the first of them emerged from the womb because no one knew which of them it had been! The rivalry continued up to their becoming the heads of adjacent schools, with the decision as to which academy would be named after a brilliant local football player to be based on which school won the end-of-term soccer match! Jeremy, a "rubbish" player as he would be the first to tell you himself, is under pressure at school when the morning announcements finish each day with the admonition to "win, win, WIN!" and at home where his father, the owner of a sporting goods store, threatens him with a holiday of private coaching sessions (from him!) if he doesn't score a goal. Unfortunately the school coach -- appropriately named Coward -- quits when the match is announced while the opposing school has hired Yvette’s husband, a ferocious man and ex-military disciplinarian who shouts and stamps. As is Jeremy’s wont in times of great stress, he phones his cousin Marie who has the solution: get her old teacher, Miss Charlotte, as their coach. And Marie, through Facebook and a certain amount of lying, then proceeds to make this happen.

Miss Charlotte not only teaches the team how to lose, but she lets anyone be on the team who wants to be on the team; she gets them talking to their footballs; she wants them, above all, to enjoy themselves, to have fun, and to use their strengths rather than making fun of others’ weaknesses. She insists that they kick the ball rather than another player no matter how annoying he/she is. Not surprisingly, the kids play better and better. Do they win the final game? I'll never tell. You'll have to read the book.

This story is written for the younger crowd, for those kids who are just beginning to read quite well, but who also have begun to realize that not everyone is equally good at everything, perhaps especially at things sporty, no matter how supportive their mothers are. (Jeremy's mum doesn't seem to be in the picture much, actually; it's just dad being super critical. A bit odd, that.) Miss Charlotte's genuine pleasure in all of them doing their very best, cooperating, thinking things through, and especially in having fun is the sort of lesson that needs reinforcing, and this story does it well. It does not preach, and it is funny. Just how funny is hugely enhanced by Tony Ross's cartoon-ish drawings. Miss Charlotte with her pointy elbows, her asparagus-like frame, and her big-brimmed hat and glasses bouncing a football off a bony knee and obviously having the time of her life is the cover art, but the fun continues. Inside, we see the whole flock of kids relating to their soccer balls; we appreciate the scepticism of the group as Miss Charlotte explains her strategy; we experience Jeremy's delight when he finally manages to channel his anger at his father's jibes into a kick that scores a goal. The story is good, but the illustrations are brilliant!