"If you leave here to follow Erien and his alien agenda for the empire," she told him sadly, "go as my friend and mekan'st." She withdrew her hand. "But don't come back expecting to be either, because once you've sworn to White Hearth you will be turning your back on your own. You are Demish, Amel. Blue Demish. And we need you."

He caught his breath with a gulp, looking at her as if he had never really seen her before.

"Perry-" he began, stepping forward to draw her into his arms.

"No," she said, wrapping her arms about herself instead. "You had better go, Pureblood Amel of Lilac Hearth on Fountain Court. You don't want to keep your liege waiting on Gelion."

Amel did not argue. He knew when Perry was adamant. He felt the weight of all the years of disappointed hope behind her eyes. They did not touch. Did not embrace as lovers one last time.

It was all he could do to hold back tears until he was safely alone in his ship. There, once the door sealed, he braced his arms on the control panel of the cockpit, lowered his forehead to his leather sleeve, and let himself process his heartbreak in wrenching sobs.